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Being protective is one of those traits that might in some circumstances be seen as an attractive and old-fashioned masculine characteristic. However, it’s increasingly being seen as a sign of weakness and a sign of obstinacy. By all means be protective of the people you love and of your date if the situation demands it, but never be over-protective.
If you are over-protective it can make you come across as quite a jealous person and that tends to put people off. There’s also something quite aggressive about over-protectiveness that doesn’t sit well with a lot of women.
This is to say nothing of the disservice it pays to your date. Why do you need to be over-protective? Is she not capable of handling herself? Doesn’t she have the independence and will to look after herself?
Whether you are perceived as affronting your date’s sense of independence and character or demonstrating your own insecurities, one thing’s for certain: over-protectiveness could cost you a second date and it could cost you a relationship in the long run. Always remember how you are seen in your date’s eyes and adjust your behaviour accordingly.Register for free >>
Lack of ambition is a tricky problem because it doesn’t affect all daters in the same way. Lots of older men can be forgiven for displaying less ambition if they have already achieved some of the things they set out to do in their personal and professional lives. But let’s concentrate on the younger element for the sake of argument.
Why is ambition attractive? Well, it’s attractive because it shows some real engagement with the world. It shows a positive attitude. It also demonstrates that you have the confidence to succeed in the things you want to achieve. These are attractive qualities and dates are often drawn to people who have independent plans in their lives because it shows they are very much their own people.
Of course, the trick is to show you are ambitious without coming across as boastful or over-confident. Talk about the immediate things that are within your grasp, but also talk about the other dreamy ambitions that act more as motivation for you at this stage. The dreaming quality of ambition is attractive too.
If you are too intense when you talk about your ambitions then you may put people off by seeming too focussed, without any real ability to take a step back from time to time. Try not to overdo the subject of the future if this is a likely impression.Register for free >>
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